Delusions of mortality
There's nothing to focus the mind quite like lying on a table at a medical lab being scanned in various ways by a technician who expresses mild surprise at all the places where I say I'm not experiencing any pain or discomfort. Do things really look that bad on the other side of my skin?
Driving home, imagining all the horrible, quick, slow, and painful deaths that might be just in front of me, I realized the great dilemma: I've had more fun, learned more, been loved more, seen more, and done more in my 50 years than most people do in twice that long. So, if I should draw a bad card now, I should be ok with that, right? But the problem is, if the first 50 were this good, what could the next 50 have in store for me?
Driving home, imagining all the horrible, quick, slow, and painful deaths that might be just in front of me, I realized the great dilemma: I've had more fun, learned more, been loved more, seen more, and done more in my 50 years than most people do in twice that long. So, if I should draw a bad card now, I should be ok with that, right? But the problem is, if the first 50 were this good, what could the next 50 have in store for me?
posted by Colin at 11:46 AM
1 Comments:
Yep. Delusions.
Just your physical life going to hell in a handbasket.
Seriously, I've been told so many times that I'm not reacting 'normally' to things that 'should cause me pain'...it's humorous... to someone.
On the other hand, things that cause me pain....they find no basis for....
I've come to the conclusion that getting older is a conundrum everyone thinks they've solved, but no one has.....
Have another glass of wine. At least in the morning, you'll recognize the feeling as valid.
Post a Comment
<< Home